Glossier: What I Hate & What I Love

Glossier, Haloscope, The Supers, Super Glow, Boy Brow, Cloud Paint Haze, Emilly Weiss, Glossier Rep Program,  Balm Dotcom, Into The Gloss

Glossier (L-R): Haloscope, Cloud Paint, Super Glow, and Rose Balm Dotcom

 Among the many crazy things about the Glossier phenomenon ($10 Million from VCs, the 10,000 person Boy Brow waiting list, the sudden ubiquity of little pink Ziploc bags, etc.) I have come to the conclusion that the craziest thing about Glossier is that everyone who loves Glossier the brand seems to love every. single. Glossier product. That's not to say that there aren't some beauty bloggers out there that are head over heels for their whole lineup; but there's something to be said about the overwhelming and unanimous "We love all Glossier products" feeling I'm getting from the Instagram beauty blogger community. It could be a testament to how Glossier is just that good. However, as someone who's placed well over a dozen orders for a multitude of their products, it seems a little...odd? 

So to turn the tables just a bit, I've decided to write about the best and the worst Glossier products I've tried. I've written several Glossier reviews (Phase 1 + Masks, Milky JellyPhase 2, and the Flavored Balm Dotcoms) so this time around I'm just going to pick the few that fall into the "Love" and "Hate" categories and give a little explanation why. But first, let's be clear -- "Love" doesn't always equal die hard fan (though you could make a pretty good case for Boy Brow) and "Hate" hardly means I've reserved a special place in Hell for the duds. More than anything it's a scale of each product relative to everything else Glossier has to offer.


1. Boy Brow in Black : I can wax poetic about how great this product is, but I'm sure you've heard it a thousand times from a thousand other bloggers. This is the one product I can say that no one is faking it when they say it's amazing. Super easy to use and flawlessly makes your eyebrows look great.

2. Milky Jelly: First and foremost, Milky Jelly is amazing because it's noticeably hydrating. I've come across a fair amount of hydrating cleansers that are really just non-drying cleanser, but Milky Jelly actually moisturizes your face as you massage it in. Also, the texture is perfect for light to medium makeup removal.

3. Cloud Paint in Haze: Mostly, I just think the colors for Cloud Paint in general are spot on. Blush can look quite comical on my dark skin but Haze looks so freaking natural I don't mind the nuisance of dispensing it from a tube. 


1. Generation G in Like: Probably one of my biggest Glossier disappointments because I am such a lip product fiend. Pink lipstick has been the cornerstone of my beauty routine for YEARS so I know a thing or two about what I love and what I don't... And as it so happens, Like is exactly what I don't. It takes a minimum of 5 swipes for a hint of pigment to appear and when it does it's about 10 shades deeper than pretty pale pink the sticker on the bottom purports. 

2. Haloscope in Topaz: I held out on purchasing Haloscope for almost a year only to pick it up from the showroom during my trip to New York. The color payoff and shimmer were so good I was upset I hadn't gotten it sooner. But as it turns out, the unbelievable glow Topaz left on the back of my hand didn't translate to the hollows under my eyes. Over makeup, the balm formula just made me look sweaty and smeared off my concealer with one stroke of the tube.

3. Balm Dotcom in Cherry: The major downfall of Cherry Balm Dotcom is that it lacks so much of the OG Balm Dotcom's appeal -- versatility, no makeup aesthetic, convenience, etc. Unlike the original (or even Coconut and Rose, for that matter) Cherry takes effort. Very minimal effort, mind you, but effort nonetheless which is exactly the opposite of what Balm Dotcom means to me. I can't just grab it and swipe it on while I'm waiting at a red light, I can't rub it on my cuticles after I've done my nails, and I can't bask in my moisturized lips five minutes later because all I'll be thinking about is the overwhelming Lipsmackers smell radiating from the bottom half of my face.

Now it's your turn to tell me about the best and worst Glossier products you've tried because I know I'm not alone in my love for Glossier's best products and disappointment in their let downs. Share your thoughts!